Dick Wellstood: Fast as a Bastard

Track

Fast as a Bastard

Artist

Dick Wellstood (piano)

CD

Dick Wellstood and His All-Star Orchestra Featuring Kenny Davern (Chiaroscuro 129)

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Musicians:

Dick Wellstood (piano), Kenny Davern (soprano sax).

Composed by Dick Wellstood and Kenny Davern

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Recorded: New York, December 1973

Albumcoverdickwellstoodandhisall-starorchestrafeaturingkennydavern

Rating: 96/100 (learn more)

Exhibit A: A disturbing photograph on the back of this CD's jewel case. The tuxedoed Mr. Wellstood stands next to a piano, arms upraised, holding a baton in a conductor's pose, staring down at the tuxedoed Mr. Davern. Mr. Davern is on the floor, legs splayed, almost in a split, one hand tucked behind his head and the other holding a soprano saxophone to his mouth, said instrument pointed upward at Mr. Wellstood. Mr. Davern in this pose resembles a piece of garden statuary, or perhaps a snake charmer.

Exhibit B: "Dick Wellstood and His All-Star Orchestra" is in truth composed solely of Mr. Wellstood and Mr. Davern.

Exhibit C: "Fast as a Bastard" is a danger to other musicians, even though it is based on "Jubilee Stomp" by the esteemed Mr. Duke Ellington. The rapidity with which Messrs. Wellstood and Davern perform the melody and improvise is excessive, despite the technical dexterity and enthusiasm displayed. Other musicians could be injured attempting to duplicate this, and casual listeners could also suffer severe physical reactions. The title itself is crude, to say the least.

Summation: In conclusion, members of the jury, the prosecution asks that you find the defendants guilty on all four counts: drollery, frivolity, deception, and recklessness. Thank you, Your Honor.

Verdict: We the jury find the defendants NOT GUILTY on all charges. Mr. Wellstood and Mr. Davern are world-class musicians, and are only doing what they know best. Also, the Great American Art Form, jazz, is not so grave as to discourage a modicum of humor it helps to keep the music fresh. Lastly, the title is an accurate depiction of what transpires during their impressive performance, although it is agreed that you should not try this at home. That is all, Your Honor.

Reviewer: Scott Albin

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